I showed up late to class and was told to grab a picture and describe what we see, feel and hear. By the time I got to write the story of this photo. What I do see was a story of how we has humans see what we want to see, it seems to be a picture of Africa during the sun set, with trees in the background a huge pillar take seems to be pointing to the heavens. The sun peaks between two trees that give the illusion of a volcano ready to explode, the life of living where everything is unknown. The clouds make the sun look likes its smoke leaking out the volcano. The life of a new born has been signal by the gods. Letting all the tribes surrounding this area, all the animals make cheerful noises announcing the new coming. Another tribe is hunting a gazelle for the feast they are about to have.

I feel the peace within this picture. Could the story have been completed and answer the questions possibly. As I read the questions I don’t know why I can’t understand them, I keep re-reading them and trying to make sense out of them. I wonder why my dyslexia seems to be taking over as I am getting older; I am acutely getting scared because I feel that things are starting to not make sense. I get stuck, I forget I don’t know why it is happing. I see the stories in my head I can hear and feel the sensations, I can tell you the colors, but when it comes down to writing it down and expressing my thoughts. I don’t want to be this way for the rest of my life, I feel this holds me back a lot, very few understand. I don’t blame them though what do they know about looking at a test and not remembering the information, I am looking at the picture I picked and I cannot seem to find the words to tell the story in the way you want to hear it or read it. I can talk about how it but words… why are words so hard? What is it about them… what says that what I spell out makes me smart? Why is this the way we accept knowledge? When we read a book we are reading words… if we put pictures or paintings we feel it loses its value as a grownups book? Funny how I used grownups because im struggling to find the right word that could say that word in a more sophisticated manner. I want to tell stories be able to hear and see what I see, but I cannot. I accept that but give me a microphone and I will take you to places where you never thought you could go, you will feel my energy and you will know I am in my element. I know I will overcome this and own it one day.

What it takes.

What it takes. As of late my friend and myself have gotten into the logo making business. People approaches with their ideas and we tell them if we can or cannot do it. So far we have been able to do them all. It is not that easy as many may think. For those who we have made a logo or stick for it all they get is a polished and finale product what many will never see are the countless papers and sketches that go with making a logo. As artist we are very picky with what we show the world. We see the littlest thing in a painting as a fail. We are scared of what others may say about our craft and gift. Before getting to this point we have spent countless hours drawing our favorite characters, we have been chosen in our younger years to do the posters for our groups, and in our college years we are told that our paintings are not the best. No other than other artist understand the pain you feel when you are told for the first time that our art is not as amazing or breath taking as we thought it was. So what happens with that first heart break you may ask yourself? Well your heart is left out in the cold for you to pick it back up and fix what’s wrong with it. So we spend sleepless hours of wondering how we can make a painting stronger, how can we make a drawing not have the flaws of your last work but be stronger then you peers, here is the point where many will walk away from art and never pick up a brush. Yet there others who accept the challenge and push themselves to archive new heights they never thought possible. All this factors in and it makes so much sense now, when I was going through I did not see what the point of it was. When making a logo for someone I sketch and sketch till I find something that just feels right, when I have the sensation I send it over to my co-pilot, he gives me his opinion on the look and I either fix it or add or take away from the design. This goes on for days till we feel the work is almost ready to be finished we share it with the person who wanted it to be done. By the time I am done with it, I have sketches on top of sketches. Drawings and ideas that no one will ever see, all they will ever see is the final outcome. So this is a inside looks on What it takes.

Before I self destruct

Before I self destruct Throughout the course of time humans have always found away to let their raw emotions out. Romans used gladiators to express there aggression out, yet over time humans have been made to hold all forms of anger and negative energy in? Have we ever wondered that humans must let this out?

What would happen if every day indivuals could challenge a person to a form of battle not to the death but a battle to let the stress out? sometimes we just want to show that person who rides all day to mess with us. I believe we need both anger and peace to live a happy life. How so? Yin and Yang both balance each other out, as humans we are thought to only be peaceful. Peace is must we must treat each other with respect and love but at the same time I believe in letting the steam out.

Humans hold back do to the fear that we will be seen as crazy, we enjoy sports some like Football and hooky are one of the hardest hitting sports out there, we get fired up when we see to body’s clashing like rams when they fight for a mate. We enjoy when hooky players lock jerseys and pound away. One of the most enjoable one out there is when two humans lock eachother in a cage and fight till one of them gets knocked out or is unable to defend themselves.

Many take my attitude as being to aggrieve, many say I have a negative personality that I walk around with a chip on my shoulder. I am person who knows the true potential that lies within me. Football allowed me to let my energy out, it released my “attitude” on the football field, in turn art was my peaceful side, with art I was able to stay calm and find peace within. What has happen now, society has forced me and others like myself to control this “negative energy”. I believe that those who seem to walk around like this with self timer are those who are meant to be great, we expect others to work as hard as we do. We expect for others to not give up, to be helpful, not cheat, not look for the easy way out. Yet those individuals are given the golden key. People like me aren’t negative or have a bad attitude we are the most loving human beings in the world, we have overcome many obstacles yet our tough and short fuse might say otherwise. We must of course smile and give society what it wants humans who never show aggressions towards anything, I will find smarter and interesting ways to keep the peace it’s a must Before I self destruct. "